Sunday, October 12, 2008

Oh, blink, blink! The weekend has once again whizzed past just like that. It seems to take an eternity to come and a breeze to go. Oh well, here I am getting the blues as a new week of work awaits me tomorrow. Whenever a new week approaches, I feel helpless and lost. When everyone works hard at their desk, I often think to myself what would keep me going. I want to be able to do well at work. But then again, I keep thinking if this is what I could do for long. Sometimes, I grow so tired of thinking what I would want to do to the extent that I can't think anymore. I am lazy to think.

I want to keep a positive mindset when I go to work. I want to go with the intention of picking up as much as I can.

With the job market like this, I should be thankful that I am doing something? I take a glance at the news on the TV at the office pantry each time I visit it. I get so depressed by the fact that the global financial system is on the brink of meltdown anytime. I stop following what is going on anymore. I can't think. I can't think of my future anymore.

I want to do something about it but I feel that there is nothing I can do amidst the financial turmoil.

I can just wait and see.

I do hope that you'll work something out to worry less for those who are going through the same as I am. Yeah, no doubt we'll worry about it. Everyone will. I am here for you, Mr Wu.

For me, I try not to think about it so much by doing something I like to do. I spend time with friends, family and Mr Wu. I do shop still but not so much as I used to? Ever since I started earning, I learn to be A LITTLE bit more frugal. Haha, it can be improved and I do hope I will improve on it.

Mr Wu and family are those people who keep me going. Recently, I think I am becoming more emotionally reliant on them which can be a bad thing. If there is anything they do to upset me, I'd get more badly affected than usual. Sighs, nobody has the time to cheer Carrousel up all the time. Sometimes, my emotions can get out of hand just like this evening. There was supposed to be a family dinner at 1900. My brother kept on rushing me with a few calls when I wasn't home at 1900. The last call was from my father. I couldn't believe that he actually shouted over the phone at me because I was late. I was trying my best to get home as soon as I could but my luck was down. There were no cabs in sight till 10-15 minutes later.

I was pretty sad and tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I had no idea why he had to do that over the phone and he was so rude. Erm, I thought that I must have frightened Mr Wu that moment. He wanted to go home with me in the cab but I refused. I guess it could have been worse if he had followed me home. Having seriously thought over what happened earlier, I think I could have handled my emotions better. It just seemed to me that I couldn't think properly at that time when my father talked to me that way.

I did not know what got over me.

I am good now but what happened did spoil the weekend to some extent. I will try to forget today when I wake up tomorrow.

Life is short, I have to treat myself better.