Sunday, March 1, 2009

It's Sunday now as the clock just struck midnight.. so far, I am enjoying my weekend. I played mahjong with Mr Wu and his friends yesterday.. though I did not manage to win from the session, it was a good game afterall. I guess, I just do like the process of playing mahjong whether I win or not. Of course, I'd be disappointed if there isn't any winnings. LOL. Well, I did not get to spend much private time with Mr Wu since the mahjong session lasted the whole afternoon. It was also not possible to spend the evening with him as he had to attend his cousin wedding. Ah well, there is still Sunday right ahead of me.

Hopefully I am able to make good use of it and enjoy it to the fullest before I return to the sucky work place on Monday. Come to think of it, the place isn't as bad as I think. Maybe I am really just being pessimistic. Is it a matter of adjustment as well? To be frank, I am beginning to feel threatened by the position my work partner holds in the team now. I don't know how I should put it exactly.. but I could sense that his importance to the team is increasing while mine seems to be diminishing. The more I think of it, the more uneasy I feel. Really, nobody is indispensable.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for Mr Wu that his contract with Barclays will continue to roll on. Since he started working for Barclays, I have to admit that I 've become more dependent on him.

Perhaps it is not obvious to the people around us. I know it myself deep inside me. I'm worried that over-dependence on him will land me up nowhere good. On the other hand, I'm really thankful that he is always here for me whenever I feel down and moody. I was feeling terrible because of the people at work and work itself this week. Arent the people at work supposed to shape me into a stronger person to fight the politics and evil at work? I need to be a brave girl at work. Sometimes, there will some fear instilled in me at work for no good reason. I don't know why but ... I felt unsure and uncertain of myself at work. I have no confidence that I'll do well at work.

Am I still undergoing the adjustment phase that everyone will go through when they switch from schooling to working? It seems like I've been in this adjustment phase for a long time. When will I be fit and ready?

Well, it's the weekend. Why should I even be spending time and killing my brain cells to think about work and the unhappy stuff?

I should just be thinking of how I should spend Sunday fruitfully. I should also be thinking of how I should start planning for the Batam trip. I hope to realise this trip because it'd serve as a good break from work for me as well. Planning my leave is another thing on my mind as well. My manager just told me to avoid taking leave on the same days as any of my colleagues. Boo! I'd want to take leave on Mondays..but the next available Monday is 23rd March. What a long wait, isn't it?!

3 more weeks to go :(