Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I need to cool down terribly. I've got no idea why the feeling of getting easily irritated is back to haunt me again. I was struck with many things today.

Many breaks on the reconciliation waited for me on my first day back at work after a week of break I took. My colleague resolved the issues with a couple of emails here and there with the relevant parties. Though he helped by started rolling the ball first, I had to go through the various emails to get a picture of what was going on. Just reading the emails took up quite a bit of time. After being away for a week, my mind took longer than usual to register any work-related issues. What made my physical and mental state worse was that she came to question me about breaks which I haven't gotten any chance to understand it further. She probably didn't know. Nobody probably knew that I was under intense pressure during the casual discussion we had. Yeah, it was a casual discussion but I didn't want to appear as though I've forgotten everything just right after a week of break.

What added on to the stress was something I heard from my colleague about her. She approached one of the team mates and told her that she could sense that she's afraid to talk to her. I thought to myself, "That was scary!" We call that a woman's intuition. Like I said, it just doesn't benefit a female to work for a female boss. I am probably going to have nightmare later on. Not only of her, the manual too. I was supposed to finish the manual before I left for HKG. I am so screwed and it's one-to-one appraisal with her tomorrow.

No breakfast for me tomorrow. I left my purse at work and only realised it when I reached home. How stupid. How bird-brained.

Hopefully it'd be there still when I get back to office tomorrow.

What is good for me now? Nothing is going my way. Work is down, so is health. I haven't been feeling very well after the HKG trip. LOL. Please stay away from me for your own lives.

I've got no intention and wish to meet anyone today and hence I absented myself from meeting the girls tonight. I'm sorry and I really am.

The stress is building up slowly as I'm closer to tomorrow every minute and second.

How can I do better?