Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I made some blunders at work. I know, part and parcel of work. Still, making mistakes at work wouldn't make anyone feel good.

So much inconvenience caused because of my mistakes. I need to be more meticulous at work.

Can't believe that my manager was the one who verified those mistakes? Shouldn't the verifier have the responsibility of making sure that everything is fine before verifying my posts? It was my fault but I would think that she has a part to play too. She's probably enjoying her holidays in Perth already. Who cares about all these?

She tried to sound me out a few months back. She asked if I was still planning to do CFA. She's probably trying to find out if I have any plans to leave the team. How scheming. She probably wouldn't put me to learn so much if I have the intention to leave.

Besides some soul-searching, it is high time I need to think about work and what I really want to do. I don't think I'd want to be doing this role for good. But of course, I don't want to leave the team yet. At least not until I prove that I am good at what I am doing now.

Boyfriend is right. Only good work performance will tell everything about me. How can I perform better? Do more? Ask more? Learn more? All of them I reckon. Since G will be away on reservist for two weeks soon, this is a good chance for me to prove what I can do for SOTS. I think it is a good time for me to be really 'thrown' into EMAP.

I used to be very motivated and have a lot of determination when I was young. I'm not sure why motivation and determination are on the declining slope now. Okay, maybe because I am not young anymore? I really need some work on it.

I am nervous but excited about covering EMAP. I know that there're a lot of things which I am not very sure about. I'm still holding on tightly to the fact that she has selfish intentions when she wanted me to train the newcomer with my knowledge.

We'll see how it goes. I can't say I do not have selfish intentions too. I do at work.

It's just humane to be selfish.

I need some injection of colour. Can't wait for Friday and weekend to come!