Wednesday, March 31, 2010
will a good opportunity knock on my door soon pls?
I hate my job totally.
I've been doing 2 days of UAT testing and I really disliked it. Because of this, she was unhappy with my attitude, performance, speed on the UAT testing. I got in early this morning to finish left-over business from yesterday. As soon as she stepped in, she asked for a quick 'catch-up'. I knew that something was wrong.
Spot-on.
She was probably unhappy that I left office before we were done with the testing. Well, when I left, we had already de-briefed. I assumed that it was the end of the testing for yesterday. There were plenty of issues yesterday but who could she have better blamed this on other than me?
The 'catch-up' was a chance for her to vent her frustrations and unhappiness on me I guess. She told me I was not prepared and focused on the testing. Without clear instructions, how else could I be prepared and stay focused? She pulled me right away into the testing. After all that she told me, she asked if I had any concerns. I said no with a polite smile.
After the UAT was completed, she complimented me for my good work. What a drastic change in words and attitude towards me, isn't it?I felt terrible yesterday. Days of doing testing at work drained me badly because we had to follow very closely to the tight schedules. I am very tempted to leave the team again. If we are unhappy with work, then we should simply take away the unhappiness with a resignation letter. It's always easier said than done. Really. Whenever I think of tendering, I do think of my financial burdens too. What will happen to my parents? How can I settle my education loans? How can I feed myself? There're more factors to consider staying than reasons to leaving. If I find another job, will I be able to shop comfortably then?LOL. That is one of the bigger considerations actually.Thankfully, I do not have to work on Good Friday tomorrow. I can finally catch up on my sleep then. Of course, I need to get away from Barcap people. I don't know why... but I felt rather left out today. When I was busy with the UAT, the team had a meeting today. My team mate told me I was excused from it and asked me to concentrate on the UAT instead. I find it very strange.Why was she the one to tell me this? Shouldn't it be my manager? I don't know what I missed out now.What kind of management is this? I don't understand. I will feedback. She shall just wait and see!I don't know why, all this unhappiness at work makes me feel as though I haven't spent much time with boyfriend.Or rather, boyfriend hasn't spent much time with me?I am not complaining. No doubt, facing this unhappiness on my own does make me feel so small and helpless. I want to talk to somebody but not just anybody. I am craving for Bah Kut Teh all of a sudden. I haven't been eating much lately...work is affecting my appetite and not forgetting, girls' thing too! How to have a happy period?
Posted by carrousel at 10:14 PM
