Sunday, July 11, 2010

Arguing is becoming a weekly habit for us. I don't know what is wrong.

I can't deny that my petty character is a bulk contribution to these arguments. Yeap, I am so tired of it.

Why can't he just understand me? Why can't he be more understanding? I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with him anymore.

Will we spend half of our lives arguing away? I feel like I am with a girl sometimes. He gives in.. I am happy. Am I going overboard? I can't seem to control my emotions well lately. Or maybe all along? Why is happening to me?

Today, we went out with our friends separately. I met up with Mei and Steph while he was out with his friends. I thought he'd at least give me a call to find out how I am doing.

He did text me a few times... but not as much as I text-ed him. It was fine by me... because I thought he was busy helping out at his friend's wedding lunch. How long will calling somebody take? A short call is nice and sweet enough.

No. He doesn't feel the same. He thought that keeping in touch via messages would be sufficient enough. I went out for dinner without my mobile for about 2 hours. I did not see any missed calls from him when I got home.

I was indeed disappointed. If I were in his shoes, I'd have tried to call at least once. I need to stop thinking of "If I were in his shoes". Apparently, what I expected from him did not come true. What is the point of thinking of it now and even typing on this space here?

POINTLESS.

I arranged a family trip to Penang in September. It will happen during the Hari Raya weekend. Initially, he told me that he'd come along. The plan was to go KL but was switched to Penang. I did not think that KL was a safe place to go after all the stories I heard from my facial lady on Saturday. I thought it'd be nice if he could come along.

The reason being is that, I feel insecure to go Penang with my family. I am the only dependent variable in the family. If something happens in Penang and boyfriend is there with me, I know that I have someone to rely on. Okay, he told me he would not be coming because he had been to Penang before and he did not want to spend the money to go there again.

I sounded disappointed over the phone and he was annoyed. Please tell me why?

Okay, I got the message that I've got to learn to grow up and rely on myself. I need to stop sticking to him.


And he said he was tired of arguing every weekend. Right, I told him that he wasn't the only one.

How can we put an end to this? I don't know how!!

Maybe getting away from him is a good way. Or rather, stop seeing each other so often.

I just want to voice out my unhappiness here, all here.

I am unhappy with him today because...

He failed to call to ask about me when he was out with his friends (not even once!)...he only called after he left his friends... why? Why couldn't he just talk to me for a short while even with his friends around?...he didn't want to go Penang with me purely for his own interests...not even thinking of how I would feel... he started talking about me not wanting to go Korea when I got disappointed he did not want to go Penang...he did not even consider the logical reasons why I did not want to go Korea with his parents...he'd rather hang out with his friends late on a Sunday...when most Sundays he'd want to go home early when he was with me so he could rest early for the next working day...his pet phrase is "Let's talk again another time."...

I am bringing all these unhappiness to bed now. Goodnight!