Sunday, December 5, 2010

Too much shopping lately, pocket is bursting and so is my wardrobe!

I can't believe that I had almost spent all of November's pay and the next pay day is exactly 3 weeks from now!

Terrible, isn't it?

Perhaps the money could have been well spent on a nice holiday trip!

I am sure that the spending is not going to stop here since Xmas is around the corner. I have gotten some presents and I am still looking around for more.

Most importantly, I haven't gotten Mr Wu's present yet. I've got something in mind more or less. It 's not that difficult to buy present for him since he is always in need of everything I feel. LOL!

I feel that I haven't been able to make much of the time spent with him for the past one week. Somehow, things doesn't seem to be going very well. Or rather in fact, we just had a big argument two days ago. Over what?

Over the same old good issue. His parents.

Actually, I think it shouldn't have been over his parents. He was needed at the garden from Wednesday - Friday (full day) to cope with the high volume due to the upcoming Xmas season. Well, we met up for Walking with Dino on Wednesday after he finished his work at the garden. When he told me that his parents asked for his help on Thursday and Friday too, I was terribly upset.

I understood he had to help his parents and I also understood that it was his duty to do so. Understanding and getting upset were two different things to me. Yeap, I understood but that doesn't mean that understanding the facts would give me good reasons not to feel upset. I never wanted him to make a choice between me and his parents and he assumed so. I did not know why he thought of me that way.

If I had really wanted him to make a choice, I'd have left him 10,000 years ago because I was sure all along what his choice would be.

But yeah, I could more or less gauge how strong is this relationship now. Ooh, that made me even more determined on not settling down with him anytime soon. Or rather, I am just plain selfish. Yeap, I still find it very hard to talk to his parents.

Who could have understood? Nobody.

Not even him.

I wish that I haven't taken any leave at all. Though I am worried about going back to work tomorrow, a part of me look forward to going back because I know that I would have something to occupy my mind.

I can stop thinking MUCH about the unhappy relationship. I should send him all the bills for my retail therapy.

We're not even spending Xmas together this year. He has his own plans. I am utterly disappointed but yet I can't show it right? Because if I show it, he probably assume that I want him to make a choice between his friends and me.

What is a boyfriend when you cannot even show your true emotions in front of him?

I can't even be myself.