Sunday, October 23, 2011
making the best out of the worst
I put in half of the day making decorations on a photo album the girls and I planned to give to SY on her wedding. I couldn't believe how I managed to fail my art in the past. I think I did a good job!
I'd probably get a pass for the efforts on the photo album.
Boyfriend was supposed to help me out but he slept through the afternoon. He must be tired from work. Or rather, he just feels tired easily. Not sure why, work is making us very tired. We don't even feel like doing much on the weekends. He hates his job... and me? I am not sure why I am still hanging on. I am just too lazy to move out of my comfort zone. Actually , I can't say that this is exactly a comfort zone.
Maybe I will be told to leave soon. The bank is doing a lot of high-level analysis on cost cutting now. Some departments will be closed down and their roles will be shifted to India. It is really sad for those who have been selling their time and youth away to the bank over the years.
I suppose I won't be affected yet, but I guess it is just a matter of time. If I do ever be told to go, I hope I 'd have enough money to start up something small on my own by then. You can never be a boss unless you own something.
It's time to start saving up for the rainy days. I envy those who are borned with silver spoons in their mouths. It just makes things easier, isn't it ?
If I do find another job, I thought of trying a non-bank job but not sure what is it gonna be yet. This is just an inner thought. I know that I am definitely not prepared to take a pay-cut! At least not for now until the next big thing..... :
Totally love this classic from Chanel! When is a good time to bring this home? I hope by 2012. The road has been rather rocky for me and him lately.
I hope things will get better. Is it because I am expecting too much from him or he is just failing my expectations?
He sent me home last night. When we were at my door step, he told me he was going home and not coming into my place. I thought he'd stay a bit longer with me but I guess it was just some wishful thinking on my own.
I told him what I thought on whatsapp. He returned to my place shortly. I should be happy that he came back for me but I honestly felt disappointed when he had first decided to leave immediately after he sent me home. He told me that he thought I was tired so he left earlier to let me have an early night.
I am sure he can sense that things are not going right in the relationship. Shouldn't he try to spend more time with me ? At least that's what I would expect him to do. I dislike being the one to take initiative ... asking what should we do ... asking where we should go ...
He wasn't feeling well last weekend. I decided to meet him up for lunch somewhere near his place. I just felt that things were different. I knew I was feeling terrible from work thinking and having nightmares about the errors I made at work. I wish he could understand me better... and not start worrying only when tears start rolling down my cheeks.
It's time I make him grow up too. He should get some serious thoughts in life and about the future.
I have no regrets when I forced him to delete all the games on his phone.
I will make him sell away his xbox console soon if there is a need.
I have a random thought: "My age is telling me that I should have some achievements by now"
