Sunday, April 29, 2012

3 weeks later, I am here again with more updates. 

Sad to say, it'll be mostly work-related updates. Admittedly, I haven't got much to update outside work. Life has been pretty stagnant. Not that I am hating this kind of life, perhaps I could have made things a little bit more interesting if I had much more time in a day. 

I had a meeting with my manager about three weeks back right after my VP tendered her resignation. 

 There was a lot of 'noise' after her resignation. 'Noise' over who will be replacing her, changes in the team and of course who will step up in the team. Definitely, my manager will be stepping up to take over more management duties from my VP. She told me that she needed me to be the lead in the team and promised opportunities to groom me.

It was sudden to me. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a try. Now I get more involved in more management calls/projects and of course this adds on to my work load. Human relationships, as usual, isn't going too well for me. Things haven't been going too well between me and this new joiner in the team. He has learning problems and I felt it was difficult to provide training because of his extremely high pride level. He contested the way I talked to him about learning. Not sure why, the grads nowadays totally have a mindset of their own. They seemed to think they own the world? 

Forget it. If he doesn't want to learn properly, it is his problem. I shouldn't get unhappy over this. 

I am just frustrated over the fact that he cannot even get simple tasks done properly. 

What shocked me was he applied to be a trader assistant when he could not even manage trade support functions well. 

Totally no self-awareness of his own capabilities. 

I cannot stand it. 

And ... I was even more disgruntled to know that he managed to secure the position! I am pretty sure if  I had raised my hand, he wouldn't stand any chance at all. Who does he think he is?

Argh...  

I shouldn't be spending too much of my time on him anymore. I think it'll be better for me to channel my time and thoughts on performing well in the team and aiming for a promotion by 2014. I just want to focus on my work and ... go on to get to where I want eventually. 

I hope that by then, I will be ready to settle down with boyfriend when things get more stable. I love him to bits for being supportive and understanding always. Let's hang in there together! 

There are so many things that I'd want to do if I do ever get promoted. On the top of my list, I want to take my parents on a trip to wherever they'd like to go. And... I'd like to get a Chanel bag! Haha, every girl's dream to own a Chanel, isn't it? 

I doubt it is going to be easy to get a promotion honestly. I will just do what I can and give my best. 

Working long hours at work almost everyday has made me feel alienated from my friends. I haven't got much time to catch up with friends.. sometimes, even with my family members. I am glad that I was able to meet up with Candy from an impromptu lunch and shopping. It just made me feel "normal". I haven't been able to meet people for a long time because of work. 

Most of the weekends are spent with family members as well. Time alone to myself is good too, I enjoy it a lot. I have been thinking if I'd have any issues getting along with boyfriend's parents next in future. I do think that they are a little inconsiderate sometimes. Maybe just not thoughtful and sensitive to my feelings? 

At the same time, I need to tell myself to take things easy and do not think too much about their words and actions. Ultimately, I've come to realize that only my family members are the ones whom I need not hide anything from and be myself. I am free to express my unhappiness whenever I am unhappy with anyone in the family. I doubt I can ever find this kind of transparency if I marry into his family in future. 

How can I manage this? I find it difficult to be the best in everything. I do get tired of trying in terms of being a good team lead, co-worker at work, a good daughter/sister in the family and a good girlfriend. 

I am sure I need some 'servicing' soon.